You know you’ve been living in Asia too long when …

I compiled this list for LULZ this morning for Facebook friends who live in Vietnam with me. It’s in response to the video I mentioned previously about Vietnamese stereotypes. But here’s some I follow and take seriously and prove that I am as assimilated as I could possibly be in just two years here (in Vietnam.. I grew up in Asia/South Pacific).

You know you’re no longer a foreigner in Asia when:

  • You not only take your shoes off outside but you have a pair of “inside shoes” in your room.
  • You don’t just eat rice with chopsticks, you can de-bone a goddamn chicken in minutes with them.
  • You own a motorbike made in Japan and ride it every day but couldn’t be bothered getting your license because you know it’s cheaper just to pay the fine.
  • You can say “I love you” in at least 4 different Asian languages
  • You have a girlfriend almost half your age (1978 and 1993.. booyah!)
  • You can sing karaoke… in an Asian language
  • You swear at cyclo drivers in Vietnamese and yell “Tôi sống trong Sai Gon ! Xéo đi !” when they harass you constantly to take a tour somewhere
  • You know how to bribe a police officer, but not pay too much
  • You know how to get a police officer fired for accepting a bribe because you know higher police officers
  • You have Buddha around your neck, your wrist, and a shrine in your house
  • You know what Joss Paper (Ghost money or giấy tiền vàng bạc) is for, and you use it.
  • You’ve planned your engagement month to coincide with the Zodiac
  • You paid extra to buy a phone number that contains lucky digits such as 4 nines
  • You actually make stupid lists like this to prove how bloody assimilated you are.
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One Response to You know you’ve been living in Asia too long when …

  1. pawz says:

    I just want to comment on my own post to say that I haven’t done ALL of these things. I didn’t pay extra for a “lucky” phone number. I just got a regular one. It’s fairly lucky, it has lots of 7’s in it. My American friend DID pay extra for an 098 number with lots of 9’s in it. Coz he’s an idiot :”P

    All the rest of the stuff I’ve done.

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